thisisgray

Im following you on my new account, Im just deleting this account not leaving.

(:

Okay don’t ask why but I will be deleting this blog. I have made a new one, if you want it then tell me why and leave your email below & I’ll get back to you. Please don’t follow me if you don’t believe who I am. Its not my problem. I cant change who I am, I am me. This blog was PRIVATE until someone I am not entirely sure how but they found me. I don’t mind a few fans here and there or just genually nice people who have no interest in hurting my feelings following me, I just hate the fact that haters follow me. Its kinda stupid.

Anyways if you want my new blog then leave your email below?

anyone know how I can delete this thing?

where did all the random followers come from today :/ ?

okay so I have a lot to say. Tonight I have a concert and ima be pocahontas, so I cant wait to see what everyone thinks about it, I will post pictures tomorrow or something. Then after my concert me and some of my dancers and a few other people are gong to chill and watch scary movies (I will end up falling asleep). I want to go trick r treating. I think people would be surprised to see me standing at their door asking for candy. I might go before the concert, that would be interesting. Okay so I want to talk about a friend of mine named Vanessa. In 2007 while I was on the best of both worlds tour she died. I was completely broken, and I still cry when I think of her. She was only 9 and she was seriously ill with Cystic Fibrosis. I met her while visiting a hospital in LA and we instantly connected it was like god had answered my prayers. Vanessa was the sister that god forgot to give me. I didn’t know her for that long but I learned a lot from her. She made me believe in myself & see the light. When she died I literally couldn’t believe it. I was devastated. I remember we stopped at walmart I was on tour at the time and I went out into a snow covered field and just lay there thinking, crying, wishing. Not a day goes by where I do not think about this little girl, she meant so much to me and I cant believe I lost her. Im crying right now from typing this. My heart is aching. recently im thinking even more about her because im on tour and I was on tour when she died. Its october 31st it was october 31st I found out she died. I woke up around 1am this morning with tears pouring down my face as if it was a sign. She is my angel now. I know that she would be proud and wouldn’t want me to be this upset. I miss you sweet sweet Vanessa. your beautiful Ariel like hair your cute button nose, your meaningful eyes. You will be in my dreams tonight and it will be like you never left me. I love ya.

I wish I could see you. I wish I could hold your hand and know your going to be there forever. I wish we could have an actual conversation because when I talk to you I don’t know if you can hear me, if your listening? I think about you all the time, I dream and I wish but in the end I gotta face reality. The fact that your not here, you never will be. I look at a picture of you and burst into tears. I wish we got to grow up together like we should have done. Why did god take you away from me? You were all Id ever wanted, all I ever want. Where ever you are I hope your looking down on me or w/e and thinking wow I am so proud of her. I love you, I really do. I wonder what you would of been like. Would we of argued all the time or been best friends and stood by each other? I hope there is such a thing as heaven, I believe in it I just hope my beliefs are true, & when I die we will reunite. I hope you remember me, I remember you. I know that your never going to read this. I don’t think dead people can use computers but maybe you have a way of reading this, a little part inside me wishes you could. I wish I could see you one more time and say goodbye because I never really got to. Oh & Happy Birthday.

Why do I keep sneezing?

I just found the perfect prom dress. Its gorgeous. I want it, if I ever go to a prom then I want to wear that dress. Its a beautiful blue color like the sky on a really nice day or the ocean in the bahamas. It has no straps its long and a little puffy at the hips like it blows out at the bottom. It has like a half layer over the top of the first one and its 2 different shades of blue. Just picture that dress its so pretty. Id post a picture but I cant because its of someone wearing the dress and I have no idea who the girl is so I don’t really want to post her picture incase she doesn’t want me to or something.